Thus Saith Bret: An Epic

Boom goes the dyn-o-mite

2009-04-08T17:24:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, Twitter has been the death of my blogging career. Why write pages when I can sum it up in 140 characters? Especially when I have bigger and better things to do with my time, like level up in Mafia Wars.

Today, however, an issue crossed my desktop that I couldn't sum up in 140 characters... I tried, valiantly, but even after four follow up Tweets couldn't wrap it all up. Thus, my thoughts:

Today, in Fondren (a mile or so from my apartment) at the last remaining abortion clinic in Mississippi, a "suspicious package" was left on the doorstop--prompting a neighborhood-wide shut down of streets and businesses. The bomb squad showed up, took over, and nothing went boom. (At least, nothing I could hear from a mile away... too soon?) At any rate, things seem to have calmed down a bit, and I'm left to digest.

Now, the person responsible hasn't been tracked down yet, so we don't know who it was, but I'd be willing to bet the house and cat that it was a protester. Sure, there's the Nixon theory that a left-wing extremist planted the bomb so that right-wing extremists would be blamed, but I prefer one wing theories.

I fail to understand the logic in this kind of move. Yes, I am against abortion and will always vote that direction, but to protest the loss of life by taking more lives? That's the kind of thinking that bankrupts any sort of moral grounds and puts the protester in the same ranks as those flying planes into buildings and blowing up marketplaces.

But what really irks me is that these are the religious conservatives that will monopolize media air time. Forget about the other 95% that are normal, law-abiding, and (dare I assume) open-minded people. One nut job puts black powder in a piece of plumbing equipment and suddenly all of us are scrambling to avoid the "wacko" label.

Personally, I already think it's tough being a religious conservative white male in Hinds County. Go ahead and post the obligatory negatives on this, but deep down, you know I'm right. This is a county in which "Religious (Christian)", "Conservative", and "Male" tend to be strikes ("White" tends to be a strike when combined with any of the above). I've just come to accept that my demographic is not the most popular one in my county.

So when the white guy with the extreme religious/conservative signs and fashion sense of a cave-dwelling terrorist suddenly disappears from his post in front of the clinic, replaced instantly by a "suspicious package", well... he ain't doing us any favors, I can tell you that...

Of course, as soon as I post the above thought on Twitter, I get to have this response:

@onlinebret - Thanks, extremists... as if it wasn't hard enough being a white, religious, conservative in Hinds county...

@KCGrittin - u think being a white conservative is hard, b happy ur not black, u probably wouldnt make it.

First, I would like to thank Mr. KCGrittin for being my anonymous stalker. It means so much. Second, I would like to thank Mr. KCGrittin (whoever he may be) for proving my point. Sir, your help has been invaluable, and may I take this time to thank you for expressing such a well-thought argument with such impeccable spelling and grammar. I applaud you.

There were many, many responses that I wanted to reply with, but none of them really solved the issue and few of them were politically correct. Besides, I didn't get on here to get stuck in a race debate. I just digress a little because, well, I'm a vindictive kind of person.

See? You can be vindictive without being an extremist! So don't expect me to be leaving any "suspicious packages" on your doorsteps...

... unless they're flaming bags of poo. But that's a given.

My Comfort Zone

2009-02-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

This blog is a warm-up. Not a warm-up for more blogs necessarily, but a warm-up for more creativity in general. As for why...well, I'll get to that in a second.

I've just returned from a very painful trip to the gym. I stacked on more weights onto steel bars than I usually do, and not because I was feeling particularly manly. Rather, I was TICKED at myself and the world and decided the best, most constructive, least damaging way to release the anger was to rip a few muscle fibers. We'll see tomorrow how much that "least damaging" part holds up.

Why am I angry? Because these past two weeks have proven to be the most expensive of my life, and not in a GOOD expensive--like buying a new car or taking a tropic vacation, but in a "I MIGHT get a receipt out of this transaction" way. When I went into this month, I had assumed two things: 1) No pain in my mouth means little or no cavities, and 2) I made sure to have extra taken out of my paychecks this year, so I should be expecting a decent tax refund.

Wrong on both counts. Ten cavities and nearly two thousand dollars in taxes later, and my bank account is a shell of what it once was.

But here's the fun part: I'm not really ANGRY per se at the fact that I had to pay extraordinary amounts of money this month... it's that in two weeks, I watched what I'd built over the past year become nothing. I'm right back where I started, and I have so little to show for it.

Let me take a second to say that this is not a "Pity Bret" blog. Quite the opposite, actually. As I worked out tonight, the number one thing that settled over my mind was an insane drive to DO something. I find my worst enemy isn't laziness... it's comfort. I get comfortable, and I don't want to move. I no longer push myself to my limits, testing what I can or can't do. I haven't done this for a long time.

Now, fortunately, I've been saving for a while, and so this recent financial massacre isn't pushing me into the red or anything. I'll pay rent next month, I'll eat next month, pretty much everything will still be taken care of (though I may let a student loan payment slide... we'll see). But why do I have to wait until I'm in a panicked situation to figure out what I'm capable of?

Recently, a good friend of mine (Opie) made a public declaration that he was going to "change his life." I hear lots of people say this sort of thing, but I've been very impressed with how dedicated he's been at following this goal. This is something I want to do. Maybe not the same goals as him, but that sort of drive towards change.

Even as I write this, my mind is already starting to come up with rationalizations as to why I shouldn't move forward, why I should just give up now and stick with what works. But my level of dissatisfaction with my life has risen exponentially over the past several months, and I don't expect that to go down on its own.

I'm tired of having great creative ideas but nowhere to use them.
I'm sick of wanting to try new things and having to look up pompous/useless "how to's" on the internet until I get discouraged and scrap the whole thing.
I'm sick of stories and songs floating in my head with nowhere to go.
I'm sick of looking out at the world from my comfort zone here in Jackson.
I'm sick of feeling like my life isn't adequate because it doesn't add up to what I'm told it should be--a life that only exists in the world of sitcom characters and tabloid celebrities.

So where's this change going to come from? Will a new job satisfy me? A move back to Pennsylvania or beyond? A second try at marriage? Kids?

Maybe. And I'll look into those. But...

For the moment, I need to work at finding the difference between "comfort" and "content", at looking at how far I've come instead of speculating as to how far I have to go.

And flossing... I'm REALLY going to have to start flossing.

An Open Letter to the World

2009-01-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

Dear World,

What's up? Haven't written in a while, I know, but I'll try and catch you up on things. Since the last letter you received, I:

... now own a lactose-intolerant cat (named Squirt, incidentally)
...have been dating a wonderful girl and am coming up on the six month mark
... wrapped up a children's book and a young adults novel, both of which are currently in pre-production
... spent a week in Pittsburgh, PA with the family, a time which, despite the massive flu outbreak, has made me realize how much I miss living in the north.
...have become a huge fan of "House" despite my aversion to needles, blood, and doctors

In addition to my personal life events, I've seen planes land in the Hudson River, the first African-American president elected and inaugurated, gas drop below $1.50, a summer of good superhero movies, and a panicked government attempt desperately to stop a recession/depression by throwing money at failed businesses. It's been quite the year, World.

In fact, I've been meaning to talk to you about a couple of these things... let's start with the bailouts. Financial theory has never been one of my strong interests, but common sense isn't something completely foreign to me. Seems to me that when a business goes under for mishandling money, giving the leaders of that business more money is only treating a symptom. It's like giving a small loan to your Uncle Frank when you know he's going to spend the money on gambling instead of electric payments.

Even in cases such as the Big Three car companies, the wrong people seem to be winding up with the cash. If no one is buying a product from a company, will they then start buying simply because that company now has money to produce product no one wants or can afford? I'm sure this bold bailout move makes sense to someone somewhere, and if so, would that someone please explain it to me?

I understand the concept of wanting to preserve American jobs and look out for the American worker, so why not just give the money straight to them? Give them enough to get them by for a few months while they figure out a new way to make a living. Maybe one of them will come up with a product Americans actually want to buy? Otherwise, we're pretty much just turning American workers into another Government Cheese program.

But enough about finances. They make my head hurt and you've got enough worries as it is. Like the Gaza Strip, for example. I don't know that anyone is really surprised that this finally happened. From my perspective, the Strip has been like that neighborhood kid who relentlessly pokes the neighbor's Rottweiler through slats in the fence. Eventually, that dog isn't going to take it, and when he gets out, that kid better be running.

While war is never my favorite option, I have to say I'm on the Israeli side in all this. Yes, I hear your cries of outrage, and yes, I despise the fact that innocents have been hurt/killed. I wish there were a way around that... But we seem to forget the fact that this "offensive" is in retaliation to Israeli innocents being killed for the past decades. Here's how I think of it:

If every day, as I climbed out of my car after work, my neighbor took pot shots at me with a rifle, I'd get tired of that pretty quickly, especially if my kids were in the car, playing out back, etc. And if the law (U.N.) proved ineffective in getting this guy to knock it off, you can bet that the next time he took a pot shot, there'd be something flying right back at him.

And as far as the non-combatants go... well, let's say that the neighbor had family and friends living in the house with him, that they were completely aware of his sniping, but they did nothing about it--on the contrary, they not only condoned it but would shout encouragement and tips for better accuracy. Would I still shoot back, even with "non-combatants" in the house? You better believe it.

I think one of the things that bugs me the most is that the U.N. sat and watched for years, doing nothing, but now all of a sudden they've developed a huge interest in the situation. I hate it when people don't play fair...

There's all sorts of things like this out there, World, and better people than myself are doing better jobs at pointing them out, so I'll sign off for now. I'll try not to take so long to write, and you just try and hang in there. I still want to find out what a few generations of Little Bret's can do for you.

My regards to the wife.
Bret

Another Bloodless Revolution

2008-11-04T22:08:00.000-08:00

Well... it's over. I think we all knew where this election would end--I don't think there was much of a mystery as to who was going to take the win, but I'm proud of both sides for sticking to their guns until the very end.

There's a lot of thoughts swimming around my head as I watch both the acceptance speech and farewell speech tonight, but most of them fall into two categories--My thoughts as a Republican, and my thoughts as an American.

As a Republican, I'm disappointed to see my candidate lose. His policies were familiar, his direction was close to the direction I would choose, many of his standards were ones I share... he was comfortable. But if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that the greatest changes come when you have to leave your comfort zone and experience something new and untried.

I loved McCain's farewell speech--I thought he did an excellent job of bowing out gracefully, and promoting a unified America. I was happy to see him wave down "boos" when Obama's name was mentioned, especially at a time when I doubt many people would blame him for getting one last kick in. It was like he was saying "You're not just booing a candidate anymore, you're booing your president."

I disagree with one statement he made, though. He said that WE did not fail, that he did. I don't believe this to be the case. I don't believe either of us failed. Another month or another million into campaigning wouldn't have changed this election. We followed the system--we put our best candidates up on an examination table and turned a microscope on them--and the system chose. There's no failure here. We're seeing the success of a system that allows for a revolution without violence, a chance for the people to choose a country's direction, and not just aging men in expensive suits. The system worked... no one failed.

As far as my thoughts as an American go, well, I decided a long time ago that whoever our president was, I would see him as just that. My president. Despite the differences he and I have in how we see the world, I can't help but be proud of how far he made it. As a politician, I'm going to disagreeing with a lot of his choices, but as a person, I can't help but respect "that one."

Good luck, Mr. President. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

2008-10-29T09:59:00.001-07:00

is testing this Ping.Fm updating thingy...

Political Exorcisms and Other Thoughts

2008-10-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

Due to the fact that I have many friends from many walks of life, I've tried to keep a low political profile this election year. Truth is, I could care less about the debates and ads and campaigns, since I've pretty much known how I was going to vote for months. I think I have the potential to be a swing voter, just not this time around.

BUT politics have a way of creeping into every orifice of life these days, and like it or not, they get into my head and start messing around with my levels of aggression. So rather than engage in a costly political debate with my friends that will, ultimately, lead nowhere, I've decided to dump some of my thoughts into the inter-web and watch'em float away. All I can dream is that they'll latch onto a pundit somewhere and explode.

So, to kick things off...

A Political Exorcism
Obama said something early on in the election process that I had a lot of respect for. He said that in political matters, we tend to demonize the opposing candidates instead of just disagreeing with them, and that was something that needed to change. I agreed, but wasn't foolish enough to think I'd actually see that come to fruition.

I'd love to see a political exorcism, where the demonization of candidates and their followers gets tossed out the window. For example, I may disagree with a lot of Obama's stands, but I don't think the guy is the anti-Christ or anything.

I do get frustrated at the coverage of the mudslinging, though. I've noticed that when an attack is made against Obama, it's John McCain attacking and therefore he is less of a candidate. But when John McCain is attacked, it's not Obama attacking, it's "members of the Obama party". Cutting down your opponent is part of the game, unfortunately, but games are much more effective when played on the same field, don't you think?

I don't want to see EITHER candidate attacked personally. I could care less about Obama's GPA in preschool, I want to know the specifics of his health care reform. I really don't want to know about the interior design of McCain's houses... I want to know how he'll deal with Iran. If I want personal attacks, I'll pick up the Enquirer...

Which brings me to...

Denial should be the name of a News Network

I think what has irked me the most about the presidential race this year is the media coverage. Neil Postman wrote in his book "Amusing Ourselves To Death" that there is no such thing as an unbiased media. I completely agree! But the fact that media still claims to be unbiased while hardly even trying to cover up the fact that they are rooting for one candidate in particular drives me up a wall!

I know some of you read that last sentence and started to get defensive, but before you do--did I say I was speaking of Obama? Nope. I could have been speaking of Fox News and their support of John McCain! But where did your mind instantly go?

See, I personally prefer Fox News--not just because I am a conservative, but because I feel like they don't really even try to hide the fact that they lean to the right. I feel like I can take what they say, subtract -2, and I have the truth. CNN and MSNBC, however, I just never know which way to compensate.

For instance, CNN will run a picture of a woman in a bikini with Palin's head photoshopped over it and pass this off as news, yet will completely ignore stories such as this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy09UpI60F8) Had these been kids chanting for McCain, CNN would have been all over it, but again, they have convenient blind spots for their candidate.

Even with this recent financial crisis, the media was quick to blame the Bush administration (and therefore McCain), but once the truth came out that it was the Clinton administration plus the Democrats in congress who set the table for this financial disaster, suddenly, the airwaves go silent and we move on to criticizing Palin's grammatical structure.

(Anyone else see the Colbert Report Monday night where Cramer came on and said that the Bush administration had NOTHING to do with the current financial crisis? And did you hear the gasp from the audience?)

To quote a four year old kid... "it's just not fair." And that bothers me. Folks in the media, you're never going to be unbiased... and there's nothing wrong with that, it's human nature! Just quit telling me that you are...

The Presidential RACE

Recently there was a stir over a poll that found that a large percentage of white democrats were not yet convinced to vote for Obama. INSTANTLY the race card came out, and the airwaves were full of accusations that these democrats were not voting for Obama simply on race, that racism is still rampant, and that if Obama is not elected, America is officially racist.

I'm not going to get into that whole debate right now, but I will say this... It's 2008, people. The only folks who are truly going to vote based solely on race won't even make it to the polls, because all seventeen of them will have locked themselves in their trailers with a case of beer, a shotgun, and the confederate flag.

Honestly, if McCain were black and Obama were white, I'd STILL be voting for McCain. Race has nothing to do with it, and I highly doubt it does for white democrats as well. Could their reluctance POSSIBLY be based on something else? Such as political experience, stances on Iraq, tax breaks, etc?

To be fair, I see the media bringing in the race card, not Obama--so kudos there. But the more they harp on that issue and tell me how I HAVE to vote, the more I'm going to want to vote the opposite.

Simplify, Simplify

This will be my last point...

Tim Robbins was on The Daily Show Monday night, brought up the republican VP candidate, and was lamenting that "is it too much to ask for an intelligent person to run this country?"

It bothers me to see candidates like Palin attacked for being "simple"--meaning that answers are short, don't require a lot of time to explain, and are primarily based on systems and ethics already set in place in middle class America. But because they are "simple" answers, they must equal "stupid" answers.

This goes way beyond politics, of course. We've adopted an attitude that says "complex = intelligent" and anything easily explained isn't worth entertaining. It's easy to explain the earth's origin as "well... God said let there be earth!" whereas evolution takes tomes and tomes to fully explain... therefore the "thinking man" must choose evolution, as it is obviously the intelligent choice.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I believe that a lot of times, the easiest and most obvious choice is often the CORRECT choice. Why complicate things?

So instead of resorting to ad hominem to attack the candidate themselves, how about we focus on their stands, their plans, their goals... debate THOSE, not the word order of their sentences.

(That having been said, I do get a huge kick out of Tina Fey on SNL these days... hee hee!)

Which, of course, brings me full circle back to my FIRST point, and thus brings this diatribe to a close.

Keep in mind, this isn't me trying to convince you to join my side or prove to you that your side is wrong. This is just the way I see the world, and these are the problems I could do without. But since I don't see any fulfillment of that dream coming any time soon, I'll keep my TV unplugged, only read the comics, and will come out again when I can cast my freakin' vote and finally see the circus leaving town...

Aaaawkward...

2008-09-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Rather than tell you about my night, I decided to post the evening as a transcript, corroborated by all parties involved:

The time: 8:00pm, September 8
Place: Bret's Apartment

Via Instant Messenger~

Bret: Come on, just one or two quick games!

Stephen Kenyon: I don't know... I only have a little time

Michael Kenyon: Meh, I don't really feel like it...

Bret: Oh, come on, you pansies, just half and hour or so.

SK: okay... but only a few rounds

MK: i guess...

BK: sweet!

Conference Call Begins Via Skype~

BK: Can you guys hear me?
SK: Yeah, we're good.
BK: Okay, let's do this thing!

Game Session Begins~

(Five minutes later)

*knock, knock*

BK: Hang on, guys, there's someone at my door.
SK: Bet it's a girl
MK: Bet it's a guy
BK: Well, it couldn't be Rachael... she's in rehearsal for the next two hours. Hang on...

*door opening*

BK: Oh, hi Rachael! Let me just close out what I was doing here on my computer, cuz I certainly wasn't playing video games!

*game closes, chat window closes, volume turns off*

R: Good to see you!
BK: Good to see you, too! Oh, you brought me something!

Meanwhile, over Skype:

MK: Where'd he go?
SK: I'm not sure... sounds like he has someone over, though.
MK: Hee hee... he forgot to turn off the conference call!
SK: I know! That's funny... should we say something?
MK: Yeah!
SK: Okay, hang on... BRET HAS HERPES!!!!!

*both laugh*

MK: Uh, they didn't react.
SK: Must not have heard us. You say something this time.
MK: BRET, YOUR BOYFRIEND KEEPS CALLING THE HOUSE LOOKING FOR YOU!!!
SK: Hee hee...
MK: No reaction! Did the call end?
SK: No, we can still hear them. He must not be able to hear us, though.

Back at the apartment...

BK: So what did you bring me?
R: Well, I knew you were out of wine glasses, so I brought you a few new ones!
BK: Aw! Thanks!
R: Aaaaand here's a bottle of red to help break them in.
BK: No way! Would you like a glass?

On Skype~

SK: Uh oh...
MK: That doesn't mean what I think it means, does it?
SK: This is going to get really awkward...

Instant Messenger~

Michael: Bret!
Michael: Bret!
Michael: Bret!
Michael: Bret!
Michael: Bret!
Michael: Bret!
Michael: We can still hear you!!!
Michael: Keep it G rated until you hang up... please!

Skype~

MK: Crap, he can't see my messages either!
SK: Maybe it won't get that bad.

In Apartment~

*insert stereotypical boyfriend/girlfriend conversation/small talk*

Skype~

SK: Noooo! It got bad!
MK: Call him on the phone and tell him we can hear him!

In Apartment~

*phone rings*

R: Is that your phone?

BK: Yeah, it’s probably my cousins wondering why I’m not playing anymore. Just let it ring.

R: It doesn’t sound like your phone.

BK: Yeah, I changed the ringtone. The new one is…

Skype~

SK: …are they talking about ring tones?

MK: Yup.

SK: Crap. I’m trying again.

In Apartment~

*phone rings*

BK: Good grief, they’re calling again!

R: Maybe it’s important?

BK: Nah, they’re just ticked at me because I talked them into playing games tonight then disappeared halfway into the first round. They’ll stop calling eventually. Now c’mere!

*phone rings instantly*

BK: COME ON! What do you WANT?? Sorry, I’m going to go answer the phone and tell them to stop calling. Geez, I’ll get on later, guys…

*Bret answers phone*

BK: WHAT?!?

SK: Bret! For the love of God, we can still hear you!

BK: … what do you mean “Still hear you?”

SK: You never turned off the conference call!

BK: Wait… so you could hear… everything?

SK: YES!!!!!!

*insert sounds of Rachael laughing hysterically from the other room*

BK: Crap… uh… thanks.

Hangs up phone

Hangs up Skype

*insert sounds of Stephen and Michael laughing for next 30 minutes*

END TRANSCRIPT

Now with more Gustav

2008-08-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

I've sat down to write a blog about three times in the past week, but have deleted my work every time. Seems that there isn't a shortage of material to write about, there's an overabundance! And when the subject of your latest adventure has something to do with an interpersonal relationship of sorts--good or bad--well, you're a little limited in what you can publish on the internet.

These last few days, however, have brought along a more universal adventure--if you can call a category 4 hurricane an adventure, that is. I'm all stocked up on water and food (which means I have a gallon of water and several cans of spaghetti-o's), have gassed up the car, done all the laundry, and found all my candles. Now it's just a waiting game...

As I wait, I can't help but think back to what I was doing exactly three years ago. Turns out, I was waiting for another hurricane to hit (a little one called Katrina. You probably haven't heard of it). Over the past couple days, I've had a flood of Katrina memories pouring in. Not just the dramatic scenes of devastation and human suffering, but the little ones too.

I spent Katrina huddled up in the apartment of a friend of mine--Sarah Senff--with my then-fiance Vanessa. I remember watching "28 Days Later" on a laptop until the power went out and the battery died, then we played drinking games until we all fell asleep. I remember waking up the next morning to a VERY hot and humid day, opening the cabinets, and realizing that the high waters had driven millions of ants to higher ground... and apparently our food cabinet was the best shelter they could find.

I remember not being able to get back to my house in the Belhaven neighborhood because of the amount of trees down. I remember being PISSED at my boss for making me come into work at the coffee shop THE MORNING AFTER. There was a boil warning in effect for the water, but as long as we could sell a donut or two, we were staying open. I very nearly quit then and there. I wanted to be out with a chainsaw freeing my neighbors, not explaining repeatedly to angry customers that I couldn't give them their chai latte for the day.

I remember not having power for a very long time, and the college (Belhaven) canceling classes for well over a week. My senior project, The Mousetrap, was currently in production, and by the time we got back, we had three weeks to create a show from scratch (we did it, by the way, and it pretty much rocked). And I remember gas lines stretching on for blocks, and not being able to fill my tank for a week at least. There was an overwhelming sense of being TRAPPED in it all... you couldn't drive out, so you just had to sit there and wait.

I'm glad I was here for it, though. Katrina was never that event that happened to someone else somewhere else in the world--I was there for this one. I never want to do it again, mind you, but all the same...

I guess we'll see how much we learned from the three years ago when Gustav hits Monday night. I know I'll be remembering the Raid this year.

Good luck out there. Call me if you need me.

Yeah, Write Whatever!

2008-08-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Family, Friends, and anyone else that stumbled across this blog,

Several people you know and love are working on a project called "Yeah, Write Whatever!" (YWW) that we genuinely believe will positively impact kids' reading and writing skills. Our new nonprofit, Imagination Education, Inc., is partnering with Eyevox and the Mississippi Board of Education to make this happen. We have a great idea and the right partners.... and now, our YWW team has a really exciting opportunity in front of us - we're one of the projects competing for funding from American Express through their Members Project initiative - AND YOU CAN HELP US WIN!

It costs nothing, you don't have to be (or become) an American Express cardmember, and it literally takes about 3 minutes. (PLUS, if you want, you can watch our savvy little promo video, and you may recognize some of the faces....)

PLEASE, PLEASE go vote and help us make the Top 25 for funding consideration! Here's how:

1. Go to www.membersproject.com
2. On the top right, click on "Guest Members Login"
3. This will take you to the login page. At the bottom of the page, click "Guest Members sign up here."
4. Sign up! (They just ask for name, email, and to choose a password)
5. You can then "search projects." If you enter "Write" in the search box, "Yeah, Write Whatever" will turn up.
6. Nominate, leave a comment, and feel excellent about doing your good deed for the day!

A special note if you DO happen to be an American Express cardholder: as an AE cardmember, you get to vote all the way through the final round, so PLEASE bookmark our page and support "Yeah, Write Whatever!" all the way through!!

If you have any questions or want more information, email me at bethkander@imaginationeducation.org. Thank you so much!

Bret

P.S. Please re-post this, forward it on, help us spread the word! Voting closes on SEPTEMBER 1, 2008. We have a real shot at this, with your help. Thanks again!!

P.S.S. I realize I haven't really written a real blog for quite some time. I have good reason, and it shall all be explained in my next blog... which will be soon! I promise!

Back to Ballin'

2008-07-02T10:01:00.001-07:00

I forgot how much I loved the game of baseball. Playing in the softball tournament this past week wasn't a perfect substitute, but it'll do. And it definitely served to call back memories and feelings that I haven't felt in YEARS...

Last night I played three back to back softball games, and I played second base for each one. It's amazing how much comes back to you, and how much of the game you never even have to think about.

You stand in the dirt, waiting for the pitch. You're leaning slightly forward on your toes to give you a little extra push in either direction, and you're bent at the waist in case a hard shot comes right at you. 90% of you is secretly hoping that the ball gets hit to someone else, but 10% of you is secretly hoping you get to be a hero.

Before the ball connects with the bat, you're in motion. You can't explain how, but the angle of the swing and the stance of the batter are already telling you what direction that ball is going to go.

There's no time to wonder what happens if you miss, or what happens if the ball hits you. There's no time to sit and think and decide what to do... you're already doing it. Your whole body tenses and springs, leaving the brain behind and going 100% on instinct.

You don't even have time to figure out how the ball got into your glove, because as soon as you have it, it needs to be somewhere else. You flick it sideways to a teammate, scoop it underhanded to the nearest bag, or grab it and hurl it as hard as your arm will let you.

And it's not until you've let go of the ball that your brain finally catches up and asks "What JUST happened?"

Man, I love this game...

Ohwa Tagoo Siam

2008-06-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Man, it feels like it's been a while since I've written on here. Let's just check the date on that and... yup, it's been a while. Sheesh.

Now, you'd think with all that time apart, I'd have something something to write a blog about. That's more true than it needs to be. The fact is, I've had so much happen to me in the last two weeks that I don't know where to start or finish without turning this into novel that would rival Tolstoy himself!

Aw, what the hey... I'll give it a shot.

First off, Myrtle Beach/Brevard... awesome trip. Last Sunday, I drove up to SC with my youth (I usually say "my kids", but that's how rumors get started). It was a whopping fourteen hour drive, but thanks to XM radio, it wasn't too terribly daunting. Atlanta managed to get in a few daunts, but that's to be expected from the Bronx of the southeast. The beach was incredible--great weather the whole time, nice sized waves, and... alert the media, folks... I didn't burn!!

The mountains were pretty good, but we did get nailed not only by rain but by flash friggin' floods. Looking Glass Falls looked like someone was dumping chocolate milk upstream, and Sliding Rock was so far underwater that the rangers closed it. But we still had fun hiking through the monsoon, so we'll chalk the trip up to a success.

The real fun started when I got home and found that some idiot had broken into my car. And I do mean "idiot." Get this--they break into the side passenger window (which costs about $200 bucks to replace, thank YOU very much) and get inside. The first thing they do is go through all my CD's and take NONE of them. Next they open up my ashtray and discover two things--one is my checkbook, which they drop down into the hole beneath my emergency brake and subsequently abandon. The second is my hide-a-key, which hadn't been hidden yet.

"Great," they reason, "we'll steal the whole flippin' car!" So they try to start it, at which point they realize the same thing I realized when I got home... that I had left my lights on and the battery was completely drained. So yes... they broke my window and found nothing in my car worth taking besides the spare change in the ashtray. How sad is that?

This would be a great place for the story to end, but it doesn't. So just after I shell out the cash to get my window replaced, I'm driving home and a cloud of steam comes flying out of my hood and the temperature gauge shoots past the H. I pull over and push my car uphill behind a fire station, which sounds really manly... but have you seen my car?

Turns out a hole the size of my thumb has burst in one of the radiator hoses, so I find Richard loitering at a nearby pizza parlor and he helps me patch it with some electrical tape. I was able to drive it home, but it sounded like that noise you make when you squeeze the neck of a balloon and let air out. It was a little obnoxious.

I tried to run to work/the parts store the next day, but I gave up halfway and called my uncle to come pick me up. Eventually, I found a place with the right part, and I FIXED THE ENGINE MYSELF! MAN! That does something for your testosterone, let me tell you. Now I want to kill an animal and EAT IT!

All that to say, life is slowly getting back to what I call normal (which is far from what normal people call normal, but I call normal boring). Oh, and I found out that I got approved for a house loan, so I can pretty much guarantee that the next time I write, I'll be writing about the hidden horrors of buying a house, how frustrating closing costs are, and how freakin' sweet it is to finally own my own place.

... and own a kitten. I got approved for a loan on one of those, too.

A little exciting, maybe?

2008-05-30T08:40:00.001-07:00

(Click the letter to read)

In case you can't read the writing (this photo posting set up is a little frustrating) it basically says that the company is interested in a children's story that I pitched them and they want me to send it to them right away.

Pretty cool, huh?

Lunchhour Musings

2008-05-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

I'm Taking It Back - So at what point did Hawaiian shirts become a trademark of creepy types? Apparently it's impossible to wear one without sending the signal that "hey, my MySpace profile says I'm 13, but it's only off by twenty years. Want a Popsicle?"

Personally, I love Hawaiian shirts. They're very comfortable, usually feel pretty good, and they live in that gray area between casual and a-little-dressier-than-casual. I haven't owned one in years, so the other day at Wal-Mart when I spotted a few on sale, I decided to grab one.

Not an hour later, it was pointed out that looked just like a certain creepy Jackson guy of whom I'd like to bear NO resemblance (I won't give you his name here, because I respect my keyboard too much to type it...also, he'd sue me).

"Okay," says I, "maybe it's not the shirt. Maybe it's the combination." So I change things up a bit, wear the shirt out to a movie, where I am told by at least five high schoolers that all I needed was a Tom Selleck mustache and I'd be a dead ringer for the next Dateline bust.

Sigh... either we need to retake Hawaiian shirts or some other kind of shirt needs to get a whole lot more comfortable.

Madison Science Theatre 3000

I'm all about going to the movies as a social experience. Watching movies with someone just makes the whole deal a lot more enjoyable. Also, you can talk about it later without giving away the endings--like when Indiana Jones dies at the end of his most recent movie, or when Prince Caspian leaves Narnia for England so he can start a romance with Susan. Man, I'd have been ticked if someone had given away those endings!

But the social part of the movie going experience really needs to end at the fellowship level... and not proceed to the conversation level.

I stopped going to Tinsel Town theatres because I prefer to let the actors on screen advance the storyline... not my fellow movie goers. But unfortunately, it seems the plague has spread to Madison. For example, this past week I went and saw Narnia again (good movie, by the way). Just as the movie starts, a family of seven or eight enters the theatre and sits down right behind me.

I knew from the start this would be trouble, judging by the amount of cellophane wrapped candy they had brought and the extraordinary amount of shaking their popcorn needed to taste just right. Normally, the movie chatter dies down after the previews and opening credits, but not these. It was like watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000, but with no jokes and really bad grammar. Here were some of the precious pearls I was treated to (at slightly above conversational volume):

"Oh, she got a little knife there!"
"You don't see ME hugging no lion!"
"Didn't your mamma teach you no better? I'll smack you upside your stupid head" (which I believe was directed at me when I shook my head after the LAST comment)

and then my personal favorite:

"Ooooh, that Aslan! He a LION! RARR!" (and I quote verbatim... the rarr's went on for about three minutes)

After the movie, I had to bite my tongue to keep from turning to the family and saying "Wow, you know, I didn't quite understand the movie the first time, but you guys certainly cleared it up for me! Thanks!!"

Sadly, there's no real way to avoid this, apparently, but complaining about it makes me feel better, so I guess we all come out even.

Rarr!

Body by Bret

2008-05-15T15:02:00.001-07:00

I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking with this whole gym/diet thing. Though I also gotta say, I'm pretty frustrated with the results.

Don't get me wrong... I am seeing results, they just aren't the ones I want. See, the whole reason I started up this fitness program was because I didn't like being able to make a hairy bagel (gentle spirited readers may want to skip the following definition of a "hairy bagel"). A hairy bagel is when you can grab your tummy fat with two hands, squeeze it together around your navel, and the result looks like a bagel... with hair. It's kinda disgusting.

I guess a better way of putting it would be to say I wanted to trim stomach fat. So I undertook a rigorous (for me) program--cutting back on sugar, dairy, and soda and amping up my intake of fruits, veggies, vitamins, and protein. I live exactly a mile from the gym, so I run there and back for my workouts, something I do every other day (push ups and sit ups at home on my day off).

Of course, I couldn't JUST workout aiming for the stomach area. When you work out just one place over and over, you start to look like Carrot Top after a while... *shudder*

There've certainly been advantages to this. For one, I've lost 30 pounds since 2008 began, which feels pretty darn good. But GOOD GRIEF, how much more do I have to do before my abs join the program?? I mean, sure, the Sara Lee All-White Hairy Bagel has toned down into the Low Fat Onion, but still...

For you younger men with ultra-effective metabolisms, take heed--watch out for year 22.

Oh well. I suppose its better to get in running shape now anyway, since after gas hits $5 a gallon this summer, we're all going to be walking everywhere anyway.

Why So Serious?

2008-05-12T22:26:00.001-07:00

I'll readily admit that most times I write, it's not about the most serious of personal matters. It's usually about something fairly trivial or something that's just been floating through my head the past few minutes. I actually have to keep myself in check because the times when I do the heaviest thinking are A) when I'm driving, and B) when I'm sitting on the ivory throne. This leads to some interesting blog thoughts, most of which I've mercifully spared you.

But today is different. Today I'm up against something that I will hopefully never deal with again in my life. As of 10am this morning, I reentered the ranks of single men in Mississippi. The divorce proceedings were strangely simple. I guess I was expecting more of a fanfare and/or climax, but instead, we walked in, got handed a paper and told "that's it!"

So yeah... that's it.

Honestly, I expected myself to be doing cartwheels at this point, but in reality, this is a lot more bittersweet than I'd imagined. I have a theory about that, too (big surprise, right?). I think that after living on my own for nearly a year, stuck in a limbo where I couldn't begin another relationship, I dealt with a lot of loneliness issues. So when I suddenly find myself purposefully turning away a person that wants to be with me, it jars something inside.

Now, I know what's happening here: I'm missing the idea of a person, not the person herself. Trust me, I don't need any reminders as to why I went through with this divorce. It was by far the best thing to do and I don't regret it in the least. So don't get me wrong on that account...

But that's my theory...

I do feel a huge sense of relief, though. I had no idea how tense this whole thing had made me, and now that it's over and I feel like sleeping for a month! I'm just so glad to finally be able to look forward and not have to continually keep looking back. I'm planning on moving forward, too, as soon as I figure out what that means.

Thanks for being there for me through this, you guys. I appreciate you.

My Sketchbook Dost Puke

2008-05-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

I find myself needing to get into "writing mode" today for a couple of projects, so I decided (in true procrastinator fashion) that I needed to write a blog first... you know, to get the creative juices flowing. So basically I'm going to be taking the next several paragraphs and regurgitating whatever has been floating around in my head the last few days. Be afraid.

1. Air conditioners annoy me like nothing else. You'd think that here in Jackson, I'd have developed a keen appreciation for these machines, but they drive me crazy! I appreciate the end result--the cold-ish room, but what kills me is the ambient noise. It's not loud enough to be considered a distracting noise and it's not quiet enough for me to just label myself paranoid or obsessive compulsive, but it's in that happy medium where you notice it enough to have to turn up the volume on your music, TV, computer, whatever but can't quite put your finger on what's annoying you. And now that I've said something, you'll start noticing it yourself. Consider it a gift.

2. I wrapped up my novel last week, which I'm pretty psyched about. I'm holding off on writing the second draft until I get some feedback from the first, but I've found that the crucial difference between writing screenplays and novels is that it takes people a looot longer to get through a novel. Screenplay is a one night deal--a novel's more like two weeks.

3. I'm realizing how impatient of a person I am. I don't really mind waiting for something that I KNOW is coming, but I have a really hard time sitting around waiting for something that MIGHT happen. This relates to everything--from work, to getting a pet, to travel plans, to relationships. Heck, especially with relationships.

4. I don't handle days off very well. Once I've slept in, I've exhausted my reasons for not working and then I feel useless for the rest of the day. Hence the writing projects today...

5. The Monks (my band) are playing tonight at Mug Shots (9pm to 1am) as our first paid performance at that venue. I'm feeling pretty good about our set--there's one or two songs I could do without, but we should be looking into some new material in the next week or so, I think. Anyway, the show should be pretty decent, it's indoors this time, and the burgers at Mugshots are friggin' fantastic, so you should come.

6. I wasn't all that impressed with "Million Dollar Baby".

7. I need to find a good album to listen to--not a good artist or a good song, but a good album, one I can pop into the CD player and just let it play beginning to end. I bought the new Weepies album, and I enjoy it, but I still want to just skip around to certain songs. The last artists I've been able to fully enjoy have been Dave Matthews and the Killers, but I'm wearing those albums out. Any suggestions?

8. The travel bug has bitten me again.

Okay, I'm done with my literary spewing. Time to actually write something that has the potential of paying bills.

So I'm writing again...

2008-04-29T20:21:00.001-07:00

So, big surprise, Bret is writing again. In fact, I'm not even sure I should say "again", I should probably say "Bret has decided to augment his current writing projects by adding another unrelated writing project." It's not that I need something else to write--I'm currently 19,000 words into my novel and I'm coming up on the last 6,000 (I hope). I'm about to take on a couple extra paying writing gigs as well, so that's going to fill up my afternoons and evenings, me thinks.

So what has possessed me to write something completely new? Inspiration, my dear friends, pure, unadulterated inspiration.

While having lunch with my aunts, uncle, and cousins this past Sunday, we were following our usual post-lunch tradition of retelling family stories. Well, not just family stories, but stories about me and my cousins Michael and Stephen. We, apparently, got into a lot of trouble in our youths, though we had the time of our lives doing so. Very entertaining stuff, let me tell you.

But it struck me while listening to (and telling) some of the stories that I haven't been writing as efficiently as I could have been. Why take the time to come up with new material when I've got great stories already in my own history, just waiting to be written down?

So I've decided to chronicle my summer experiences ala Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine and give it the title Stupid Acts Performed by Kenyons, a title which would certainly grab my attention were I to spy it on the shelves at my local Barnes and Noble. I won't go into detail on them here (you'll have to read my book for that), but anything that involves wheel chairs, open graves, snakes, and leaking septic tanks has got to be literary gold.

(See the picture I posted? That's the result of one of those stories. It's up to you to guess which one).

Anyway, if I don't post often on here, it's because I'm busy writing elsewhere. I'll try not to completely abandon my blogs, though =)

Really?

2008-04-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

I don't really mind people laughing at me--especially if I've done something on purpose to make them laugh... or did something by accident but pretended it was on purpose. I don't even really mind being made fun of here and there, because frankly I deserve it sometimes. (And I get to add names to the list of people who will be the first up against the wall when my revolution comes).

But normally, when someone is laughing at me, I understand why they are laughing at me. Not so during my recent trip to the McDade's Shopping Emporium. I had dropped by to pick up some liquids, since the only thing I had to drink back at the house was a two-week old health shake, and it was looking a little too solid for my tastes. So I had loaded up on my milk, water, juice, etc. when I round a corner and am greeted by a peal of no-holds-barred belly laughter, followed by the phrase "Your shirt!!"

I look up to find a middle aged woman doubled over her shopping cart, laughing and pointing at me. Between gales of laughter, she would gasp something along the lines of "Your shirt... it's just so FUNNY! I've never seen that before! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Naturally, I looked down at my shirt and didn't see anything particularly funny about it. It was just your basic blue Superman t-shirt, but apparently something about me wearing it struck this woman as hilariously ironic. Fortunately, her phone rang and she continued to guffaw to her friend about the funny thing she'd just seen... meanwhile, I snuck down the aisle and made my exit.

But now I'm left with the question What the hell was so funny about me wearing a Superman t-shirt? I'm neither ironically fat nor ironically skinny, so that can't be it. There wasn't a cape attached, so there was nothing absurdist going on. Do I really look that much NOT like the hero type?

Chances are, she was either drunk, high, or just wanted some of Bret's red hot chili (maybe all three?). But in the end, that was one of the more surreal experiences I've had while grocery shopping. It's just a good thing I wasn't wearing my "Streakers Club" t-shirt or her brain would have hemorrhaged from all the comedy, and then I never would have made it home with my cranberry juice.

In a Word?

2008-04-07T00:08:00.001-07:00

Ouch...

Rumor has it...

2008-03-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not a stranger to being the subject of rumors... it seems to be the "Bret Curse", if you will. Through high school, both colleges, and the after-life, I'm always surprised at the number of things floating around that I've supposedly done. Now, as with all rumors, some of these have merit. Some are true, some are just based on truth, but a good many of them are pretty much downright false.

I had heard about a particularly nasty rumor going around about me a couple weeks ago, but I didn't worry too much about it. First, the guy spreading it is a butt-wipe, and I doubted anyone would really take him seriously. Second, it was such a specific rumor that I couldn't see him telling just anyone.... wow, was I wrong.

My first instinct is to take down the source, and I would totally wipe the floor with this guy given a chance, but I made a promise to someone I care very much about that I would let it go and not help to make it worse. So I won't be approaching the source. But last night, when two people who really had no reason whatsoever to be included in the "rumor loop" shared what they had heard, I was furious.

Today, though, it's a different story. I've slept on it, and I've come to a conclusion:

People that know me--my friends--would never believe this about me because they'd know that it's something completely out of character for me. The people that would believe it, well, I'm not sure I want them as friends. So maybe this can be looked at as a flushing of my circle of friends.

On a brighter note, New Orleans was incredible, but that's all I'm going to say about it... I don't want to start any rumors =)

Survey says...

2008-03-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

This past week, I was having a conversation with a "special friend" when she brought up something called the "5 Love Languages" survey--which supposedly tells you how you best relate to someone you're in a relationship with. I had heard of this before, and I think I had just guessed what my results would be, but I don't think I had ever taken the test. So this week, I found the test online and gave it my best shot. Here are my results:

Score	Love Language
8	Words of Affirmation
11	Quality Time
0	Receiving of Gifts
3	Acts of Service
8	Physical Touch

This was pretty much exactly what I predicted it would be, so no surprises there. But I did start asking myself WHY these were my results. What is it about Quality Time that's so important to me?

I think I have a pretty good guess: See, when I enter into a relationship, I don't just do it to keep from being alone. There's an old adage that says "A relationship can only end in two ways--marriage or a breakup", and I don't get into relationships to breakup.

So when dating, my self-appointed job is to find out as much as possible about the other person--who they are, how they think, what our differences are, etc. I almost wish I could just send a flurry of these internet surveys her direction, which cover everything from "Dream Date" to "Favorite Stuffed Animal as a 7 Year Old". But it's easy to SAY the right thing, especially if you're good at reading people. I'm pretty sure I'm a living testament to this fact.

But you can't fake life. Sooner of later, the truths about the other person will come out in everyday and extraordinary circumstances. And you're only going to SHARE those circumstances through quality time.

To me, the other stuff (physical touch, words of affirmation) are things that are the result of a love, and love for me starts with Quality Time.

This time counts, by the way. Love me yet?

Mount Vesuvius

2008-03-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

(Can't believe I spelled that right on my first try!)

So yeah... the volcano metaphor is an extremely accurate image of what my brain feels like right now. Not in a bad way, as in aneurysm or mental breakdown, but there is so much stuff going on right now that I feel like it's just going to pop.

Here's the tricky part... I can't write about... well... any of it.

Temporarily, at least. But it's killing me!!

More than anything right now, I need to be able to just relax and realize that I'm not the One in control right now. But that's a lot easier said than done.

AUGH!

Don't get me wrong, so far it's all GREAT stuff clogged up in my head. In fact, I think that's what makes it hardest. Tough stuff I'm good at hiding, but I'm used to shouting from the rooftops the stuff I'm happy about.

Oh well. My time will come. Anyone got a Valium?

Presenting Your Presidential Candidates

2008-02-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I tend to not get into political debates simply because I really don't know enough about most political subjects. This also applies to the whole presidential race--I have a general idea of what each candidate stands for, but that's about it, unfortunately. I listen to NPR on my way home from work and that's about as far as my political research goes.

HOWEVER, that doesn't stop me from forming opinions about each candidate. I may not know their position on health care or their solution for the problems in Darfur, but based solely on what I've seen of their personalities, here's my thoughts on the 2008 front runners:

Barack Obama - Obama is probably the hardest of the group to read. He's got such a "nice guy" exterior that it's hard to picture him as anything BUT a "nice guy". However, I can't help but wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. I mean, he can't be THAT good, can he? I never could trust overly "smiley" people... I always feel like they're trying to sell me a car.

Hillary Clinton - Hillary scares the crap out of me. No lie. In fact, I'd go as far to say that it wouldn't surprise me to find out that she's the next Terminator robot in disguise. And don't let those carefully shed tears put you off track. There's probably program code inside her head right now that reads:

IF NumberOfEmotions < 10 THEN
run [shedtear.exe]
'Bill wuz Here!'

John McCain - Or as I like to call him, the Manchurian Candidate. Think about it... if any of the potential candidates were sleepers, who would it be? The goodie, the robot, or the guy who came out of a POW camp and hit the campaign trail?

That and I can't stand looking at his neck. He looks like friggin' Fat Bastard from the end of "Austin Powers 3". And now that I've said something, that's all you'll be able to see whenever you see him on the news... just McCain's wrinkly, baggy neck flaps.

Mike Huckabee - As cool as I think it would be to have a president named "Mike", I wouldn't ever be able to watch this guy do a State of the Union without thinking that he should either be working out in his garage while smoking a joint, limping through a police station, or putting Gweneth Paltrow's head in a box.

But I guess that's why we invented all these political issues... so we wouldn't have to vote based solely on personality. Although I gotta say, President Walken/VP Conan would be a lot of fun to watch.

Yup... voting is gonna be fun this year...

In Which The Poet Visits the Gym

2008-02-22T11:42:00.000-08:00

My life has been taking some interesting turns lately--one of which is this new predisposition I seem to have for getting kicked out of places. For those of you who know me, you know I'm not "that guy", but twice now in the past couple weeks I've been ordered to pack my things and go.

The first was immediately after discovering the joys of "Rip-Stick"-ing in a public parking garage. It's like a friggin' ski slope made of concrete, but apparently "somebody might get hurt" and therefore, that joy has been withheld.

The second was last week at the YMCA. (Yes, I got kicked out of the Y). Turns out the staff ID card I was using had expired, which makes sense seeing as I was never actually staff in the first place, am no longer married to the person that WAS a staff member, and she stopped being a staff member over a year and a half ago. But still, no one had ever stopped me before, so I figured I'd keep going until they did.

Well... they did. Mid sit-up. And they were jerks about it. But I digress.

Actually, none of that is really what I wanted to write this post about, it just sets up the story. Last week, I decided to buckle down and actually PAY for a gym membership, and since the Y is A) Overpriced; and B) Jerks, I ended up going with the gym at First Baptist downtown (it's very hard to argue with $10 a month).

But I realized something today while working out: I haven't been pushing as hard as I can. While that may sound like a "Well, duh" sort of realization, it was a big thing for me. All of a sudden, weights that I was struggling with a day before were going up and down with relative ease. It was like I discovered this reserve of sheer will somewhere and unleashed it... a fantastic feeling, really.

And that got me to thinking... how many other ways am I not pushing as hard as I can? On the physical side of things, I think I've always subconsciously held myself back because I was afraid of hurting people--especially since a lot of my friends growing up were usually a good bit smaller than me. Not that I'm this hulking iron beast that accidentally crushes things on a regular basis or anything, but nonetheless, I was always just very cautious.

I just wonder sometimes if that extends into other things. If I pushed a little more in some areas, showed some more aggressiveness, some more assertiveness, would I find myself succeeding more? Or would I find myself hurting those around me? Or both?

Generally, I think everyone is capable of pushing themselves harder, but I think a push like that will almost always force a change in that person. And while I enjoy change, not all change is a good thing. I'm ready to push harder physically because I'm ready to change physically (speaking of which, I may not have the six-pack yet, but at least I don't have a keg anymore!), but honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready to push harder in other areas. At least, I'm not willing to jeopardize who I am for more forward motion.

I like where I'm at right now. I can live with this.

...as long as I can stop getting kicked out of places.

Political Stuff

2008-02-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

So yeah, I generally avoid writing my thoughts about political-type stuff for many reasons. One of which, a reason I will readily admit, is that I simply don't feel like I know enough to throw my opinion out there. If asked, I'll give you a synopsis of my thoughts, but I find that most political blogs seem to have the goal of convincing the reader that "I am right, THEY are wrong".

I can't say for sure if THEY are wrong or not, so I keep those kind of blogs safely tucked away inside my head, where they battle for attention with all sorts of scary things.

The other reason is the fact that while a good majority of my friends lean more to the liberal side of the fence, I myself am a conservative. Yeah, yeah, that title seems to bring a lot of baggage with it these days, and simply sharing that label tends to get me lumped into the same category as bigots, racists, radicals, and the uneducated, but it's true none-the-less. (the title... not the lumpings)

I think I set myself apart from the pack, though, because I don't demand that everyone around me think the same way. (Same deal with Christianity... if you don't subscribe to my religion, who am I to make you follow it's rules??) In fact, I LOVE being around people who think differently... keeps life interesting =)

But why choose the conservative route? Well, because it makes the most sense to me right now. I never have and never will vote along party lines... I vote for what or who makes the most sense.

What got me thinking along these lines tonight was an invitation to a Facebook group I received from a "friend" of mine. I put the terms in quotations because I can't stand the guy and honestly can't figure out how he got on my friends list... he's not there anymore, so if you're reading this, I'm not talking about you. (or AM I?) He was the type of guy that chose his political alliance (and consequently decided EVERYONE should follow suit) based on what his professors told him to choose and what his parents told him NOT to choose... I'm way off topic here, sorry, but those are the kind of guys that really tick me off. (that and he's a mamma's boy that cheats at ultimate)

ANYWAY...

The group was titled "Celebrate George Bush's Last Day In Office--the End of an ERROR!" with "error" capitalized AND underlined just in case you missed the clever play on words.

Now, I'll admit, I did vote for Bush... twice (Sorry, but believe it or not, I felt LESS confident in the alternatives). Do I think he was our greatest president? Hell no! Do I think he was a GOOD president? At times.

But at the same time, this guy was OUR president. He had a tough job, he definitely made his share of mistakes, and I'll go out on a limb here and say speaking in public EVER was one of them, but I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be behind that desk.

I'm really looking forward to what the next President will bring to the table... whoever he or she is. I enjoy change for the most part and this is a biggun. But do we really have to kick ol' W in the pants on his way out? Is that REALLY the kind of respect we show our ex-leaders, regardless of how good a job we think they did? Just seems kinda immature to me.

So for what it's worth, here's MY nod of acknowledgment to you, sir. I know how much it means to you. Wait... oh, no... don't cry... here. George? Here. It's a Kleenex.... for your nose.

Just look at the poor guy. He looks
so harrowed and... wind-swept

And thus ends my annual political diatribe. I will now go watch "Trainspotting", as having just watched "Requiem for a Dream" obviously didn't depress me enough.

~Bret

Don't do drugs, kids.